Continuing on from Writing Core Wounds III.
Accessing the story of my core wounds through fiction
Writing the story ‘Warrior’ gave me the space, structure and power to change things enough to make it possible for me to articulate my emotional world.
It was actually through writing this story that I came to learn and accept that I am an adult survivor of complex childhood trauma and that the reason I was writing about a character that had been sexually abused as a child was because I was. By speaking of this through fiction I was not betraying the promise I’d made my perpetrator. It also meant I could bypass my irrational but longstanding fear that the threat I was given to prevent me speaking would be fulfilled.
In 1000word increments I’d will proceed to post the opening of ‘Warrior’ with the view to further unpacking how and why core wounds will negatively impact adult life until we learn how to engage them in a way that is empowering. This way I can demonstrate show why storytelling can be an effective strategy for knowing and dealing with core wounds and re-writing one’s story their way.
Owning the story of our adult life
By identifying the nuanced ways our life’s beginning is a blueprint influencing our middle and end, the power unconscious mechanisms have over us will shrink so that we may actively author our own middle and end. Knowledge and developing our capacity to process complex emotions in a constructive manner frees us. It gives us the opportunity to consciously steer the life we live as adults in a different direction by choosing to no longer be enslaved by old patterns and programming. What we’ve experienced life to be is not all there is available to be experienced. It’s necessary to consider ourselves worthy of setting our standards higher than they were set through implication for us as children. As adults we can only receive what we settle for and accept.
When adult life remains influenced by our core wounds it’s hard to function with efficacy. Our bodies carry the weight and pain of these stories and are consequently limited by the effects of them. These wounds negatively and falsely shape the way we see and feel about ourselves, others and the world. It’s not that we obviously allow them in, rather it’s unconscious, automatic and therefore invisible. So is the fact that there’s other, lighter, freer ways to experience being in the world. Without the assistance of a mental health professional, understanding partner or creative pursuit in this case storytelling, it’s near impossible to begin seeing how one’s primary wounds influence the limiting beliefs, fears and avoidance mechanisms in place to perpetually compromise all we can become, deserve to enjoy and are capable of creating.
Breaking the cycle
To take the time out to consciously engage with, clean and learn from our core wounds and the powerfully disabling stories they have formatted our psyche with is to break the cycle. To actively stop these wounds from bleeding over attempts to move and grow beyond the defense mechanisms or maladaptive behaviors an open core wound can only otherwise draw us back into.
The pain located in core wounds needs to be felt so it can be released. Storytelling assists in knowing what meaning and significance our beginning had for us. Without this insight we can’t be certain of how to change our story’s middle and end into something that doesn’t circle these formative wounds through ‘repetition compulsion.’